Just came across this amusing story from CBS 5 - KPHO.com.

"... There's been documented cases of people going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning just from utilizing it that way," Thomas said.

Thomas spends his days patrolling the halls of a Valley high school. He's heard first hand how kids are getting tipsy.

"What we're hearing about is teenagers utilizing tampons, soak them in vodka first before using them," Thomas said.

"It gets absorbed directly into the bloodstream. There's no barrier, there's no stomach acid to prevent it," Thomas said... "



There's just so much fail in here that I don't even know where to start.

Nowhere in the entire article or video did the "experts" make a direct clarification or assertion that they've seen such a case. Worst still, Dr. Dan Quan seemed to be grossly misquoted, much of his speech is stitched and pieced together and he seemed to be describing what the possible outcomes and dangers could be, rather than giving first-hand insight.

Direct accusations of teen folly, and list of lethal consequences are mainly done by the narrator and not either expert. In all, the argument just seemed like a slippery slope, with one assumption leading to the next.

As amusing as this might be, I would also like to point out the following. Rectal insertions (Suppositories) deliver drugs much quicker and more potently than oral consumption because they escape dilution/digestion/interferences in the stomach/intestines. But more importantly, this route it bypasses the first pass effect and thus are not metabolised by the liver.

Unlike what is described in the video/article, there is still a barrier in place even with rectal insertions (ie: the mucous/rectal wall). The only method of delivery with no barrier would be intravenous shots (IV).

The other thing I would like to comment is that while the the tampon is shown to soak up 1 shot of alcohol, it had to be squeezed dry. Firstly, I'm not going to comment how tight/loose one's vag/rectum, but it is highly likely that you'll squeeze out a large portion of the shot trying to shove it up there. There's a reason why sex toys do have a certain level of rigidness.

Secondly, you would have to "suck" it dry to get the shot of alcohol, or what's left. That'll take awhile, preferable lying down. Suppositories usually advise that you lie down for 15 mins for maximum effect. So after that, they would have to remove the dry tampon and change it? Sounds really labourous work for a few shots.

Honestly, if they were willing to go through all that trouble, why not just do it the AWOL approach. Yes the actually machine is banned in various states, but if you are willing to go to such lengths, you would probably be able to replicate this with some bong/tube/pipe/cup and a flame.